One week from today my semester will be over. Tomorrow morning I will face the odds and have my clinical performance exam. Everything must be perfect or that's it, I'm done. I will not be able to return in the fall. It doesn't matter my grades, my scholarship, nope. It all falls on tomorrow's moment.
What I have learned in the two years I have spent married to my science with my whole soul devoured by text books and lectures is. I am prepared for this, I know this. Whatever happens in the moment is my control, but the outcome is out of my hands. Much like anything in my life. I can only control so much and the rest just happens. Of course I am stressed out and worried. That is in my nature and can not just be turned off at will. But throughout the course of this academic year I have had some great friends supporting me, helping me to ease the type A inside.
Marathon Training officially begins one week from tomorrow! Of course I've been to the gym and done some cross training up until now, but next Thursday begins NO EXCUSES. 16 weeks till the marathon. 16 weeks until 26.2 16 weeks until $5000 is due.
This weekend I will run my first race of the season. Susan G Komen 5k race for the cure. The following weekend is our National Angelman Syndrome Foundation Walk. Both of these causes have devastated my life. They have contributed to who I am but will not decide who I become. That is my choice.
Almost 20 years ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was slightly older than I am now. She is the first female survivor of this disease in her family. She is my hero. Raising two children, going to school full time, working, surgery, round after round of chemo and radiation... I never question how I have time to do it all. I learned from the best. We do because we have to and will not take "can't" for an answer. I am running on a team for school to support an instructor recently diagnosed, but I also run in celebration of someone who exemplifies hope and determination through this battle... My Mom!
Next weekend I walk in honor of another amazing girl in my life. Arianna, my oldest daughter. She was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome 5 years ago. Each year since then we have participated in this national walk to raise awareness and funds for Angelman Syndrome, meet other families that are going through the same adventure as we are, and celebrate the lives of our exceptional children. If you know Arianna, you already know she is extremely happy, energetic, loves water, and is very opinionated. She also struggles with being non verbal, sleep disorders, seizures, and intellectual disability. She chooses to push through her obstacles in order to find her favorite things in the day and explore them. She leads her adventure by example and challenges us all to be better people.
I am in the middle of two generations of women who are fighters. That is how I "do it all". I don't do it alone, and I will not give up because it is hard.
This is not to say I don't have bad days, because I do. But I refuse to get stuck there. I am thankful to be blessed with each day, whatever it may bring.
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