Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) refers to episodes of depression that occur every year during fall or winter. Symptoms improve in spring and summer.

Or it could also be described for the season all too well known to parents of exceptional children as IEP season. It affects us all differently, but for the most part it drives us insane. It could last a day, a week, or months. It is the agony of trying to put together a scientifically proven/evidence based plan of attack for your child in the hopes that they may achieve some level of success in academics. You hope and pray that somewhere along the process you have gotten something right and then have the support to put the plan in place. Only to find out six months later you were completely wrong and there is not much you can do about it. You read the "alternate" report card with its obligational "positive" comments and then the "needs improvement" and "no successful progress" list is a mile long.

This is a season of frustrations, battle, discouragement, and sheer exhaustion.

But this all loses sight of why the Individualized Education Plan was created. To create an INDIVIDUAL plan that will help the child meet and exceed a set of goals for the school year. It allows a creative group of well intentioned adults to come together and collaborate on behalf of a child that so desperately wants to succeed.

It doesn't need to be a fight with the parents flanked by the "professionals" and devoured by the rhetoric of standardized test scores, life skills, and behavior plans.

Each year at this time I make myself ill with stress. February is the month Arianna was born, so it should be a fun month. Instead it is usually full of meetings, doctor's appointments, illness, paperwork renewal, and basically un-fun things. We are scheduled to the max, and to top it all off everyone has met their threshold for the winter.

So as I was feeling sorry for myself this afternoon when I listed item after item that went "not right" and all the things I "had to do". I stopped, made a list of everything that "WENT RIGHT" and the things I "WANTED TO DO". I enlisted the help of a dear friend to help me tackle the biggest task, and then treated myself to a run.

As each step met the snow covered pavement, I thought about choice, whether or not to choose the easier road (or treadmill) that can be automatically controlled by a single program, or the the cross country distance path that throws you a surprise around every bend. Sometimes I long for that treadmill: the pace it sets, it's predictability,and the control. But the reality is that the life that has chosen me is a cross country path full of amazing scenery, ice covered sidewalks, killer hills, grassy meadows, and distance as far as the eye can see.

So until mother nature decides to offer up some vitamin D to help us all out of our S.A.D. I will make my own sunshine with the help of my family and friends. And make my three least favorite letters in the alphabet I E P into P I E.

Groundhogs Day 2010 AKA Arianna' Turns 7

Seven years ago, at this moment, I was yelling at my husband to get off the phone with my in laws and help me push. He had taken a brief moment to call them to say that their first grandchild was about to be born. As my mother held my hand (no actually I was squeezing hers), the last moment of being a non parent slipped from my head and the the joyous fear of parenthood flashed across my hallucinations (a side effect of the contractions combined with the pain medication and epidural). At 11:01pm, Arianna Elizabeth Manning, our ivory skinned, bleach blonde, blue eyed chubby bundle of joy entered our life. She had the healthiest screech of any child in the nursery. I could hear her cry out all the way from the nursery as the Nursing staff brought her down to my room. From the beginning AriBeth was quite opinionated.

To this day her opinions are her biggest triumph and her biggest struggle. She has the knockout of prize fighter, and the smile of an angel. She can melt your heart with a 3am giggle, and break it with a 5pm tear. All she asks of the world is to be her friend and to listen. In a way, I think that is what we all ask of the world. What she gives to the world is so much more.

So here on her 7th birthday, she gives the gift of laughter, smiles, and unconditional love. We are so proud of her and the way she makes us see the world and life. She has taught us to love deeper, be a little more patient, and listen to a different language.

The future is unknown, and we live by the least dangerous assumption, if we assume we can't it is so much more dangerous, than if we assume we can.

Happy birthday to our precious angel. Go out there and change the world. We love you Arianna!
xoxoxoxo Mom, Dad and Amelia