As I close in on the end of my first week of classes this semester and approach my first quiz of Nursing II, I have surrounded myself with many memos of encouragement. Pictures of my girls, by my girls, words from friends, poets, world leaders... all posted anywhere I can see them while I reach for my goals.
As Arianna goes through her day, I think about how I can send her the same encouragement to positively reinforce her progress. She wants to succeed, she wants to communicate... the less she is able to do that, the more frustrated she gets. I am seeing this more and more with her this year at school. As a first grader, a seven year old girl, she is gaining more independence and more advance receptive language. Unable to translate her thoughts into an expressive communication keeps her trapped. She can only comply for so long before that frustration manifests itself in what looks like a glorious temper tantrum. My heart breaks for her, and somewhat selfishly for myself.
Something a slight as choosing what to play with or what to watch on television creates a game of 20 questions that leaves both of us equally drained. I see her eyes wanting to express so much more, it radiates throughout her body as she bounces to her favorite music or video.
I watch my youngest, Amelia, developing faster and faster everyday. I see her look up to her big sister and support her. I can only hope I am doing something right in raising her. Sometimes I feel like we allow her to grow up a little too fast in order to be sure Arianna's needs are being met. It's a delicate balance, a waltz of sorts. Sometimes I lead, other times she does.
Both lil ladies continue to amaze and challenge me. They inspire me and keep me grounded. If I can do half of what my mom did for me I know they are in good hands.
Here's to studying for the game of life, the practice of nursing, and the training of the marathon.
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